My love affair with cheese - a bitter end, or everything in moderation?

Saddened by the apparent realization that I may be lactose intolerant.

My recent spate of excessive red meat and cheese consumption left me with some pretty serious heartburn, so I went on a bit of a liver/gall bladder detox to try to re-balance (add: cucumbers, pears and beets; delete: red meat, cheese, refined sugar and chocolate), and within a single day I felt like a new woman.

So of course, to celebrate, I had a seemingly harmless bowl of granola and milk for breakfast. BAM! Heartburn again. Could be the granola, I guess, but what are the chances, really?

This truly does suck. If my life has no cheese in it, I'm not sure how I'll go on. But at least it will help me get better prepared for the post-apocalyptic shortage of luxury goods.

Anyway, I guess for the time being I'll lay low on the milk and cheese, but hopefully it won't mean we have to break up. 

Trouble in Paradise

I was home this long weekend visiting my parents, and as always, my mom and I got into talking politics and religion (its your fault I'm like this mom!). For such a contentious topic, and considering the very dark places I've gone in my studies of both, I'm patently shocked that we agree on most issues, at least in the matter of the relationship between evangelical proselytizing and modern ethics.

I was even more surprised though to discover that Mom was already aware of the bizarre trends within the Christian churches in America to increase their membership - such as free beer and staged fights - an appeal to younger men, evidently, to make church more enticing. What she didn't know about was the involvement of the "manosphere," the growing group of men who have become so disillusioned with modern life that they are easy pickings for the proselytizing efforts of the post-millennial Evangelical movement.

The men of the manosphere feel useless and unworthy, and the church is capitalizing on their dissatisfaction, fostering it, and directing their rage at feminism, making them into weapons, effectively, because feminism is entirely responsible for the disbelief in the masculine superiority of the bible. Thus, they have found a common enemy.

Certainly, the blaming of feminism (and atheism of course)  is nothing new for the church, but that they are utilizing the present sense of dissatisfaction of men to boost their own strength is very new, and dangerously exploitative. This isn't something I ever wanted to say, and I don't mean it as an insult, a warning rather, but this particular group of men is extremely vulnerable to exploitation (think of the fascism of Fight Club, and its numerous references to the crisis of masculinity). Not only that, but they are overwhelmed by a repressed violence, which is being fostered by this religious group. To further compound the situation, evangelicals make up a statistically significant portion of the US government. The social and political consequences of this, if left unchecked, could be catastrophic to the equal rights movement.

Yes, I am saying this now: Post-millennial Evangelism is the modern world's fascism. Really, this shouldn't be shocking at all. Any religion that holds proselytizing as its most central tenet is inherently fascist, but presently, it is actively seeking to institute a moral theocracy in America, the intention of which is the 2nd coming of Christ, the manifestation of Revelations, and the End of Days - a "fascism of the people" - and all the world will lose if the campaign succeeds.

As I attempted to explain the gravity of the situation to my mother (no slouch herself in the matter of advocating for reasoned thought), I started frothing at the mouth a little, ranting like a crazy person, and she had to calm me down with a cup of tea. I'm sure she's grateful to know though that my interest in religious studies in college really was only academic, and that I had no plans to run off with a cult. Quite the contrary mom - it was a case of "know your enemy."

The amazingly positive power of family dinner

Yeh, so I'm admittedly kind of a luddite when it comes to this tech blogging linkback mystery of computer-savviness, I'm working on it slowly but its a major obstacle given how far behind the curve I am.

I'm going to try to re-post a link to one of my favorite sites which covers every nuance of wonderful that I occupy my time thinking about. If you have any recommendations or aid to help me be better at making this page more inviting or graphically impressive, I eagerly await your feedback.

The Art of Manliness - The amazingly positive power of family dinner

This kitchen layout is perfect for dinner parties!

I'm a single woman, and very happily so, but even so I consider my close friends to be part of my protective community circle, and make a point to have group dinners as often as I can. In fact, I have designed the kitchen layouts in my home renovations to specifically accommodate dinner parties! There is nothing in this world that enhances bonding like food. And since this blog originated with a focus on food, this post seemed relevant! As Brett and Kate, its authors, note, even the extremely busy President of the United States makes time for his family dinner his priority (damn communist!), so you can to.

Smoker fail

My last batch of smoked salmon was terrible. The worst. I never thought the day would come when smoked salmon would be so awful I'd rather throw it away than eat it. It did. One thing I've learned now, is how important it is to give the fish a really good long bath before putting it in the smoker. You cant just rinse off the brine, because the salt is still soaked right in there! And don't leave it in the smoker too long, either. There's nothing worse than really really inedibly dry salty fish.

The smoking process amplifies the saltiness, so its best to be cautious with the time at first. The thickness of the cut does make a difference to how long it should stay in. 1/2" thick means 2-3 hours in the smoker, no more. It should still be oily when it comes out. Also, I'd avoid cherry wood for fish, its too bitter tasting. Apple is great. Oh well, live and learn.

Anyway, my refined approach to smoking fish is a 24-48 hour brining with something that has a good balance of sweet and salty (for example, 50/50 maple syrup and soy sauce), enough to cover the fish completely in the container, with some good quality rock salt rubbed into the flesh before adding the brine mix to it. Quantities of each depend of course on how much fish you're actually preparing. Let the mix stand for 24 hours in a cool area (NOT cold), then bathe (and by bathe I mean soak!) for 2 hours minimum to extract the bulk of the salt. Then you dry the fish off, let it stand a few hours to develop a "pellicle" (a very weird sliminess that is totally important to the curing process) and then smoke for whatever seems sensible given the dryness and saltiness you want.

After smoking, I like to let it dry for a while in a cool (not cold!) area. Hard to do this in an apartment, unfortunately.

I've only ever used an electric smoker. I'd love to try a natural smoke fire to do this, but its an awful lot of work that I'm not ready to invest until the zombie apocalypse requires it.