Alright alright already, I'm posting the Cauliflower Hot Wings recipe. Jeez you guys.
Skip to TL;DR version at the END of this post. I'm sorry, I'm not technically savvy enough to know how to do a link that will take you somewhere else in this document.
OK so I humbly admit, I printed someone else's recipe for these yummy morsels and I cannot find the original link to save my life, so whoever created the original version - you're amazing, I wish I could name you personally. At any rate, its not really plagiarism anyway because I modified the recipe so much that its barely recognizable. That's just how I roll.The original recipe was actually for BBQ flavour. I am not a huge fan of BBQ sauce, but I took one look at the photo and said "I can work with this". And there are hundreds, literally hundreds, of versions of BBQ and Hot Wing versions of this baked cauliflower recipe too, mine is just one more on the pile. I did find the timing on this worked out absolutely perfectly to make them nice and crispy, so it is a great starting point to jump off from to get to my version.
The real joke of the original recipe though is that it was written using only half the ingredients I just listed, and claimed to serve 3-4 people. I'm like... you have got to be kidding. I doubled it and it turned out so good that I ate the entire thing.
SO, step one - chop up your head of cauliflower into florets. Not huge, not small, just nice and mediumish. Put florets into a large bowl that you can use to toss. Turn on the oven to 425f, and line a large baking tray with parchment.
Drizzle some oil, your favourite, over all of the florets in the bowl, and toss to coat. Use enough so that they all get a little coated. Original recipe did not specify a quantity, just use your judgement.
Sprinkle some flour, doesn't really matter what kind (original recipe says you can also use almond meal), over all the florets, tossing intermittently to ensure all get sprinkled. The original recipe called for a half cup of flour for one large head of cauliflower, I find this was a little more than I felt it needed so I quit sprinkling after about 1/4 cup. Use your judgement. More flour might make it crispier.
After flour coating, sprinkle and toss again with onion powder. Recipe called for 1/2 a teaspoon for one large head, but I feel this is way too little. I'm a flavour fiend, bring on the seasoning. I also decided instead to grind up some crispy fried onions (my #1 all time favourite seasoning) and replace the 1/2 tsp onion powder with more like 1.5 tbsp of ground crispy onion meal. I did not regret this at all, I think it totally made the recipe.
So now, after the dry coatings, here is where it gets weird. Next thing this recipe calls for is 6 tbsp of milk. MILK! I don't even know what to say about this. I decided to replace the milk with watered down plain yogurt. Again, did not regret. Drizzle the yogurt (or milk, if you wanna) over top of all the florets, tossing intermittently again. The milk is, I imagine, just a wet coat before you do the breadcrumbs, next.
The original recipe here calls for an optional CUP of breadcrumbs. Well as it happens I am doing a low-carb diet right now, so I said NO to breadcrumbs. I did, however, add a good shake of nutritional yeast, and that was a good idea. My second favourite seasoning after the crispy onions.
You are now done the first stage of preparation.
Roll all of that out onto the parchment lined tray, and spread your florets evenly so they are not crowded on the tray. If you have any broken bits, don't throw those out, just mound them up into a pile, they will bake together into a unit. Slide that cat right into your 425 oven, and bake for 25 minutes.
At this point you want to make your sauces. Original recipe, as I said earlier, called for BBQ sauce, about a cup for a whole head. Not in the mood for that today, so for this recipe, I have to admit, I used up the remains of a jar of hot sauce that I bought at a local restaurant here in town, the Atlas Cafe, they make their own and it is great. However I think this would be just as good using Franks Red Hot, or whatever version of hot sauce you would normally like on your chicken wings.
I mixed the hot sauce about half and half with plain yogurt, a bit of melted bacon fat (my third favourite seasoning) and added a minced garlic clove. Apparently the fat helps bond the sauce to the cauliflower, so dont skip that, but you can totally use olive or coconut or whatever. So that worked out to I guess about 1/2 cup each of sauce and yogurt, and maybe a tablespoon of bacon fat. I put mine into a squeeze bottle so I could get a nice even coating on the cauliflower, rather than dumping it all in a bowl and having big blobs on some and not enough on others. I still have some left in the bottle for next time!
At this time I also made a dipping sauce out of, yes, more yogurt. Plain yogurt, about half a cup, mixed with a minced garlic clove, pinch of salt, and about a tablespoon, maybe a bit less, of apple cider vinegar. Amount of vinegar depends on how tangy you want it, but also on how hot your cauliflower sauce is - vinegar helps take away the burn of spicy food!
So now, when your timer goes off after the first 25 minute cycle in the oven, take out the tray, and put all the cauliflower pieces BACK into your mixing bowl from before (or a new one if you're OCD and already washed that), and squeeze or ladle your hot sauce so that it gives all the florets a nice light coating, tossing intermittently. Put them all back onto the same tray, flip them so the already crispy side is facing up, and put these cats back in the oven again for another 15 minutes.
The original writer of the recipe made a note that whoever he/she is, he/she likes to broil them for an additional 5 minutes at the end. I did not do this however, and I found they were plenty crispy.
Now, for all you TL;DR complainers that don't enjoy my prosaic journey of experimentation and just want me to get on with it already, here is the best |I can do for an actual recipe. Although I will say, you're missing out on some good intel doing it this way. Keep in mind, this blog is for a TEST KITCHEN, not a published recipe book. And, as I said several times above though, you need to use your own judgement for several of these steps.
INGREDIENTS
- One large head of cauliflower, broken into medium florets
- Oil or oil spray, enough to coat lightly
- Approximately 1/2 cup of flour (any type) or if you don't like flour, try almond meal
- EITHER 1/2 tsp (more) of onion powder, OR if you have access to crispy fried onions, grind some of these up and keep them in your spice cabinet, but for this recipe use about 1-2 tbsp (your taste)
- 5-6 tbsp of EITHER milk of choice, or watered down plain yogurt
- OPTIONAL 1 cup of breadcrumbs (I replaced this with a solid shake of nutritional yeast instead to keep the calorie count down)
- 1 cup sauce to coat - either BBQ or hot sauce, or like I did, a mixture of half and half hot sauce and plain yogurt. I recommend adding a bit of garlic to the hot sauce, or ginger to the bbq if you go that route. See, I can't stop narrating!
- 1-2 tbsp oil or melted butter or bacon fat
- OPTIONAL Sprinkle with sesame seeds and/or scallions
- Dipping sauce: 1/2 cup plain yogurt, 1 minced garlic clove, pinch of salt, about 1 tbsp vinegar of choice. You could maybe use lime in this too, and some cilantro, that would be lovely. I'm doing that next time I make this.
INSTRUCTIONS.
1. Preheat oven to 425f. 2. Line large baking tray with parchment. 3. Cut cauliflower into florets, and toss in large bowl with oil to coat lightly. 4. Toss florets with flour and onion powder. 5. Toss again with milk or yogurt. 6. Turn contents of bowl out onto baking tray, and spread evenly, do not crowd. 7. Bake first stage 25 minutes. 8. After first stage bake, remove from oven, move florets from tray back to mixing bowl, and squeeze or ladle your coating sauce over your florets. Toss until coated, and place back on tray with crispy side up. 9. Bake again for 15 more minutes. 10. Remove from oven, eat with dipping sauce. 11. Weep with joy at the wonder of your creation.
